The Neti Pot
If only we all just had more neti pot. Wait, no no - I don't mean more pot. That would be awful given how the youth of America are flooding hospitals these days, sick from too much cannabis and fentanyl in their system, addicted to a behavior that may not make sense until you see what today's youth see and hear on social media. No, no. I'm talking about the actual neti pot - this green plastic, mini-tea pot contraption my wife brought home in 2012. She asked me to come over to the kitchen sink. "We're going to try this new thing," she said with that look of 'stay with me Bry - I know you think I'm ridiculous'. "It's called the Neti Pot and it's going to help us clear out our mucus problem." So, naturally, I’m like, "I didn’t know I had a mucus problem." She holds up the pot and says "here's what we do...fill it with water, then you're supposed to tilt your head to the side and back a bit, then take the spout and put it up your nose. It's going to go up and out the other nostril. She begins to have the suppressed laughter I used to have in front of the altar on the way to communion. But I’m like, "What do you mean WE?" Then with a straight face she says to me, "You go first." Now I’m a good sport with a lot of things and so I fill the green plastic pot with water, tilt my head back and to the side a bit and, after a deep breath and a look of fear, I take that elephant-trunk looking stem and put it up my nose. My eyes begin crying, water is flowing out of my nose and ears I think but then, just like that, I'm done. Supposedly mucus and allergy free. Bridget is laughing the entire time and I say, "Ok. Your turn." And she says, "Oh no. I’m not doing that. No." Now mucus is a problem in society. Perhaps not on the level of fentanyl addiction and cannabis addiction, but it's an issue. If you've spent any time in an urgent care waiting room you know that at least 60% of the people are in there because they have a stuffy nose or some respiratory symptoms and potentially chronic mucus issues. My grandma would call it phlem. "Give it a good blow - you got a lot flem you do," she'd say. That was the last time we used the neti pot. It sat on the 3rd shelf of our coffee cup cabinet for a few years, probably jealous every time we opened up and grabbed a mug instead. I never could see myself getting addicted to jamming a mini tea pot up my nose for a daily drowning. Then again, as addictions go, it seems quite a bit healthier and perhaps a real health system cost saver than say inhaling a rag of gasoline because you are a bit lost and unsure where you fit, and the other kids said it feels amazing.