Teach Your Children Well

I grew up listening to Crosby Stills & Nash and haven’t until lately really understood what Crosby meant by teaching your children well….but when your teenager asks you what he needs on his mid-term to maintain a B- in his math class, you sort of have two problems – he’s looking to avoid studying or maybe worse, he’s relying on you for help with math.  Tommy asked for my help last night.  “Dad I think I need a 57, but can you check?” “Can I check what,” I said, “if your math is right or if you are indeed redefining what it means to be an underachiever?” “So you’ll check?” Tommy said….Doing the bare minimum is a lifestyle for some of us, like my 19-year-old who texted me from 5 feet away if I could make him an omelette, while he was in the kitchen…next to the stove. Or for one of our girls whose bare minimum is often her struggle, and ours, because it’s sometimes the best she can do. In matters of health, I like to think men are often experts in bare minimum, skipping dental cleanings like they are church on a rainy Sunday or telling the doctor “I’m fine” even when they’re not.  Imagine if healthcare workers did the bare minimum? It’s not an option really, at least not anymore, nor is it part of the DNA of doctors and nurses. Parents don’t have much of an option either I suppose. We have to do more to try to understand, not fix the younger generation, even if it sometimes means we struggle. As the late great David Crosby would say, “Teach your children well” – yes, to do more than the bare minimum and to take risks, but also not to be afraid to struggle — to be thankful for being.