Speed Up The Homily
Aunt Theresa took me into Dunkin Donuts one time, walked behind the counter, and started pouring two cups of coffee. “Maam. Maam! You can’t do that.” Aunt Theresa said, “I know I look frail honey but this old girl still can pour coffee.” She dropped a sock full of nickels on the counter and said ‘let’s go’. At Sunday brunch in Fairlawn, one time back in the late 70s Theresa’s cigarette ashes fell into my scrambled eggs. “Um, Aunt Theresa, your cigarette….” “Oh, it’s fine dear. Just mix it up like this, it’ll look like pepper.” Aunt Theresa was a housewife for most of her life until Uncle Richard died at 57. “He never passed the meatballs, that was his problem, but boy I miss the ole’ joker.” Aunt Theresa played 3 sports in high school and worked at Sunoco to pay her way through community college in the mid-1940s. She sang in the choir for 30 years down at Sacred Heart in Holyoke and used to heckle Father Burns during his homily's. “I don’t agree with that – that’s not right – no way did Jesus do that” she would holler from the pew. “Let’s move it along Father – I can smell the donuts in the hall!”
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She walked 5-10 miles a day raising 2 kids and 2 foster kids, but after Uncle Richard died her health declined and her bad habits picked up. She’s had more than a dozen surgeries in the last 25 years, some for her eyes, some for her knees, once on her big toe. But for some reason, she’s 96 and still going and on Saturday she fumbled her way to the kitchen with her walker, kicked the dog, cut 1 piece of blueberry pie, put it on a plate, then grabbed the rest of the pie and took that back to the kitchen table. “What? she said, giving us a look for questioning her greediness. “I figured I’d save a piece for later…..now which one of you is going to lose at Setback?” Managing an aging family is awfully difficult these days and for many of us it’s a strain on our families and our own health, but sometimes you get an Aunt Theresa who may have a sharp edge and an abrasive style, but she tells it like it is. And I’m going to miss the ole gal…